White Washed
by DaRkDrEaMeR23
Summary: Sean is gone, her friends have gone, the only person there is the last one expected. What happens when Ellie is all alone and finds comfort in Jay's arms and him, in return, in her's. Updated 72506 R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**_WHITE WASHED_**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi: The Next Generation or any it's characters._

_Rating: **T **just to be safe._

_Summary: Sean is gone, her friends have gone, the only person there is the last one expected. What happens when Ellie is all alone and finds comfort in Jay's arms and him, in return, in her's._

_**Chapter One: Puzzle Pieces**_

The rain began to fall as we drove home in silence.

It has been over two month since Sean left to live with his parents in Wasega and, to my surprise, Jay had kept his promise. So for these eight and a half weeks Jay has been by my side, and of course I was there for him as well. When I thought I would revert back to cutting, I would simply pick up the phone and there Jay was to help me through my spell of depression. When I failed a test and I knew there were bills to pay, he is the one who calmed me. Or if I felt alone and just needed someone to watch a movie with, he would always be there.

And, as I said before, I was there for him. When he fought with Alex, when he father would, I hate to say, rough him up, when things at home didn't come close to perfect, and when he and Alex's relationships came crumbling to ruins. I tried to be his shoulder. I guess you could say we needed one another.

The car soon came to a complete stop when we were directly placed in front of my apartment building. Placing my hand on the door handle, I slowly looked back biting at my bottom lip.

"Thanks for today." He slipped out, breaking the silence.

I smiled slightly before answering. "Did you wanna hang out for a few hours, watch a movie, order a pizza?"

He gripped the top of the steering wheel with his right hand. "I can't, my mom's home. I gotta be there." He looked towards me with a sincerity in his eyes. "For her."

I nodded, not needing to hear anymore. I then quietly slipped out of the car and slowly walked to my apartment door. I fumbled with my keys finally finding the right one and twisting it into the keyhole. As I swung the door open I took in the sight, clothes thrown here and there, papers and books spread out on the couch and coffee table and Bouler's empty cage of in the corner. I sighed turning into the kitchen, to see a red light blinking on the answering machine. Dropping my black school bag onto the table, I pressed the flashing button curiously.

"This is the landlord, David Chucks, calling on your final warning. You are overdue by two weeks and if--" I cut the older man's gruff voice, by clicking off the machine. I knew I still haven't paid my bills and frankly wasn't sure when I would be able to. Other than the fact that Sean's student welfare pays for me to live here, I have no other source of income.

I cracked open the fridge only to see a near empty box of pizza from three nights ago, and four cans of soda and a can of chicken soup. Sighing again, I shut it's door and creaped into the living room, plopping onto the cluttered couch. After no more than a minute of channel surfing, I flipped the television off and looked over to the rain streaked window. Replaying the last couple of months events in my head, things just seemed to have gotten so simple and all the more complicated at the same time.

Knowing that another second in that house could have caused an emotional break down, I grabbed one of Sean's gray hoodie's and ran outside, wrapping my arms around myself I blinked through the rain. Taking a sharp breath I leaned my body back against the house, allowing droplets to slowly trickle over myself.

I knew I had become lost deep within myself early this year and coming back to the surface was near impossible. All the events, all the struggles I went through actually resulted in me finally finding myself, sure I was a little rough around the edges, but I was my own person. Sean leaving was one of hardest things I've had to go through and one of the most rewarding. He was my safe zone, the person who kept me sheltered. And where that is what seemed to be exactly what I needed, it wasn't. I needed to be faced with my problems and solve them myself, I needed to learn by myself. And now I was learning, everything.

Running a hand through my damp hair, I began to walk along the muddy walk way. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I just kept going. I looked down the street seeing a fairly familiar house, the Michalchuk home. I had somewhat _"lost"_ my friends to those to those people.

Marco, began dating Dylan a year or two ago and ever since then our friendship has slowly disintegrated. I was truly happy that he found someone, but it still hurt that my first love, my best friend, was being slowly taken away and there was not one thing I could do about it.

Then there is Ashley Kerwin, my actual friend at Degrassi. She was a confusing person, never really sure if she would fit in, if people would accept her or if she still wanted what she blatantly pushed away. Over the year, however, she seemed to keep more to herself and didn't really bother with what other people thought as much. As predictable as it was she soon accept Craig back and only began to socialize with him more and more. With Craig, along came his friends, which consisted of all the same people she once had called her crowd. Containing Jimmy Brookes, Hazel Aden, Marco, and Paige Michalchuk. Paige, Hazel and Ash became extremely close with one another, sisters in a sense. And whatever one sister did the others would follow. And even though the brat pack and I had a few kind encounters, they would not be caught hanging around with Ellie Nash, not on their time. So, you can see how the Michalchuk's in a way were a large part in the reason as to why my only two best friends had drifted away.

Then there were times I would wonder, if I had to redo the year over, would it turn out the same. Would Sean still have decided to be my boyfriend. If he never moved to Wasega, would me and Jay be as good of friends as we are now. If I never showed my mother the effect her drinking had on me, would she have still went into rehab. Questions like that always seemed to cloud my thoughts.

I had hardly noticed that I had stumbled upon the street right over from Jay's, until I noticed his house farther down.

You know he really turned out to be a great guy. And I never knew this, but he has to put up with a lot in his home too. His mother leaves for days at a time unexpectedly, his father abuses him, and his sister, who was the only other person who was helping him deal, moved out. He never showed how broken his home really is before, much like how I never allowed one soul to know my mother was a drunk and what I did to myself.

Turning onto Jay's street I saw his house coming closer, five or six houses down. Now I was nearly drenched, even though the downpour had turned into a light drizzle. Slowing my pace, I noticed the door to Jay's house was opened then slammed shut angrily, Jay storming out. I continued to watch as he hopped into his car without driving away, just sitting there. I soon found myself in close contact of his car and ready to open the passenger side door. With a second of brief hesitation, I opened his car door quietly, looking at him. He was slouched over, his right hand gripping to top of the steering wheel and I could almost swear I saw a glistening tear on his cheek.

"Jay?" I spoke in a hushed voice.

He clenched his jaw tighter, keeping his eyes fixated forward, without answering.

I quite unsure what to do, sat myself in the car, gently closing the door.

He remained silent for awhile before he finally spoke. "What are you doing down here?"

I looked down at my hands. "I don't know, I was just walking and this is where I ended up."

"She never came home." He murmured, catching me off guard.

I shot a concerned look his way. I knew what he meant by that far too well. Looking at him carefully, I spoke back. "Did he..." My voice trailed off when he gave one sturdy nod.

Tightening his grip on the steering wheel, he looked down then over to me. "Does your offer for pizza still stand?"

I released my breath slowly, as I nodded.

He then took the keys from his pocket, starting the engine and speeding past his house.


	2. Chapter 2

**_WHITE WASHED_**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi: The Next Generation or any it's characters._

_Rating: **T **just to be safe._

_Summary: Sean is gone, her friends have gone, the only person there is the last one expected. What happens when Ellie is all alone and finds comfort in Jay's arms and him, in return, in her's._

_**Chapter Two: The Reason**_

After changing into a dry pair of clothes I made my way into the living room, where Jay was sitting comfortably on the couch.

"I ordered the pizza, forty minutes or less." He confirmed with a smirk, moving over an inch or so in attempt to make more room.

I nodded as my eyes wandered over his features, stopping when I took into notice of the deep mark above his left brow. Steadying myself on my knees, I retracted my arm bringing back his black cap, to reveal more to that bloody mark. "Jay…" I whispered out concerned. I knew it wasn't the worst thing that has happened it's just so hard for me to accept the concept of it all.

He looked down then back to me. "I know."

I shook my head, taking his hand in my own and led him into my bedroom.

"I got something just hang on one second." I explained, as I left him and entered the connected bathroom. Rummaging through my things I retrieved my "CD" case from one of the draws into the room, and pulling out a few items I sat down beside him on the bed, and began cleaning his gash.

I gave a slight eye squint and tilted my head to the side. "It should do for now." I said once I had finished. As I picked up the things, he pursed his lips in thought and spoke in a low tone of voice. "Thanks... But how'd you know to do that?"

Placing the items I have put to great use back into their case I looked down to my trusted utensils then back up with a small smile. "Experience."

He nodded then, furrowing his brows; he reached up to touch his cut.

"Don't you touch it." I scolded returning to my spot on the bed. I traced over him with my eyes. He looked so broken. Giving off such a strong and rough façade, but anger and hurt filling up inside him. I began to think about the family he belonged to and truth be told it wasn't all that different from my own. His mother never around for his family, not able to give them the care they need and deserve. My father is away on his retreats, too far to care for us. His father was a stubborn drunk, as was my mother except for the disappointing fact that his father would strike him from time to time. And now in present time I saw his left hand beginning to clutch the bed's comforter in what I figured to be emotional turmoil. So, trying to ease him, I took his hand in mine with a grin finding it's way to the surface of my features. These last few weeks have been a real big help for me. The issues and problems I have dealt with tore me apart emotionally. Sean had been by my side, partially, but when I learned about Jay's home and how he lived I knew there were other people feeling like I did. I knew I wasn't alone. Now Jay probably would have never breathed a word of his home life if it weren't for that day about five weeks ago.

_I slipped my bag over my shoulder as I slammed my locker and headed towards the school's doors. As I exited the building I saw Jay talking with Alex by his car and quickly crept over to them. _

"_Hey guys." I chirped as I approached the couple, neither replying to my kind salutation. It was then I had come to the realization that the "talk" they were having was really another one of their many quarrels._

"_Never!" Alex called out to him. "Not once Jay!"_

"_What's the big deal? I'm dating you not them!"_

"_The big deal is they're my parents!" _

_Jay turned his head releasing an aggravated sigh._

"_And by the way, when am I going to meet yours?" She bit, her right hand securely resting on her hip._

"_What does it matter?"_

"_Your right, what does it matter? We probably won't be together for that long anyways!"_

_He moved in close pausing a few inches away from her face. "Why delay it?"_

"_Good point." She replied, a cold look occupying her facial exterior._

_He shook his head before hopping into his car, speeding out the school's parking space._

"_Hey!" I subconsciously slipped out nearly running after the car's fading figure. I would usually leave both teens to cool before I came between their issues, but it was either taking his usual after school ride home or trying to find a respectable seat on the bus. Finally taking my eyes from the place on the pavement where only moments ago his black civic was parked, I noticed her momentarily hunched over, and dragging her sneakers across the cement walkway. I mentally cursed myself for even considering the thought of getting involved, but I pushed all doubt aside and silently walked up behind her speaking out in a voice equivalent to a whisper. "Um… Alex?" _

_I watched as she straightened herself up and ran a hand through her dark locks. Then holding in all emotion she turned to me, her usual intimidating expression plaster across her face. "What?"_

"_Did you uh… did you mean all that? What you said to Jay?"_

_She gave a small chuckle, in hopes of masking her hurt. "Actually, I did."_

"_What?" I questioned almost in disbelief. Even though they had their problems, having there meaningless fights at least three or four times a week, it just seemed as if they couldn't survive through it no other couple stood a chance. I searched my memory trying to find something, anything to change her final assumption. "I mean he… he's supportive and he can uh be nice and he cares about you a lot and he always-"_

"_You know what, if he's the great guy that you make him out to be then you take him, Have him! Cause I don't want him anymore." She interrupted, stomping past me tears filling the brim of her chocolate-flecked irises._

_It was later that night that I found myself standing at the end of Jay's street, nervously tugged at the ends of my shirt. I slowly approached his house, or what I hoped to believe was his house, a small lump occupying the center of my throat. I shuffled my feet back and forth as I came upon the steps of his home. I was just about to tell someone that their supposed significant other was in fact serious about leaving the relationship and to be truthful I felt awful. But I knew I owed it to him, he has been here for the last few weeks to help me deal with the recent stress and anxiety that has been brought upon me. Readying myself I brought my knuckles to the door giving it a few light taps. Not receiving any type of reply I peered into one of the large side windows, maybe he just wasn't home. But then I heard a loud man's voice echo through the house, which was followed by a tall, stocky man stepping out from another room, beer can in hand, and Jay being pushed forcefully onto some hard wood stairs. I watched as Jay winced lightly and wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, gripping onto the stair he was currently emplaced upon. I quickly looked to my shoes, nearly speechless from the sight I had just witnessed. I began to think hard for any reason why I really should stay, but I finally came up blank. Crossing my arms and turning to walk down the concrete steps, I heard the opening and slamming of the house door. I cursed quietly to myself and continued walking down the street when I heard his voice escape him in a confused tone._

"_Ellie?"_

_I hesitantly turned back on my heel. "Yeah…"_

"_What the… what are you doing here?" He interrogated, taking a few steps closer._

_I looked up at him with a slight frown and moved close, placing a hand to his bruised cheek. "Jay, what happened to you?"_

_He took a step back, looking down at the ground and shoved his hands into his front pockets, staying silent._

"_Did he do that?" I paused trying to get enough nerve to ask the question I had first intended. "Did your father do that to you?" I spilt, concern dripping off each word._

_He then took his thumb to wipe the blood from the corner of his lips. And after locking eyes with me for a few seconds he dropped his head back, releasing a sigh._

"_Yeah… he did."_

_I saw how hurt he was at that moment. And even though I wasn't entirely sure what I was to do, I slowly walked close and pulled him in a tight hug, Jay, reluctantly, hugged back._

_That is when I knew there was someone else that could feel as hurt and lost as me._

I now looked down at our hands, which were entwined, each other's fingers looped through the others. Then I looked up, catching his light hazel eyes with mine, which are of the darker persuasion. Lightly biting down at my bottom lip, I just continue staring thinking of what I am about to say next. Finally finding my voice the familiar ding of the apartment's buzzer is heard throughout the rooms. I sigh pulling my hand falling away from his, as Jay jumped up a small smirk appearing on his thin lips.

"Pizza is here." He spoke giving a small eyebrow raise. And I couldn't help but laugh.

"Come on…" I gave him a small shove as he walked out of the room ahead of me.


	3. Chapter 3

**_WHITE WASHED_**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi: The Next Generation or any it's characters._

_Rating: **T **just to be safe._

_Summary: Sean is gone, her friends have gone, the only person there is the last one expected. What happens when Ellie is all alone and finds comfort in Jay's arms and him, in return, in her's._

_**Chapter Three: Hearts Will Desire **_

Forcing the last bite of crust into my mouth, i layed my head back onto the couch's itchy fabric and watched her lift yet another slice to her lips. "You have got to be kidding me." I remarked raising a brow.

She flipped her head towards me, scrunching up her eyes and placing her free hand to her hip. "What? Just because i'm a girl everyone expects me to eat the weight of a feather. Well, that is were you are wrong Jason." She finalized her statement by ripping of an emense chunk of pizza in her mouth.

I released a chuckle as i watched her try to chew the mouthful of food. She was the only person who could make me laugh. The only person who knew me. And by me i mean the real me, not the person everyone else sees me to be. And the only reason we became so close was due to my friend being a complete emotional mess. Which i am kinda greatful for.

"So, should i pop in a dvd?" She was now scanning over the rack where all the movies were resting.

"Yeah." I smiled watching her drag her fingers across the movies' covers.

"How about..." She paused pulling the dvd from it's place. "A Walk To Remember?"

I groaned. "A chick flick?"

"Come on Jay! It's really good!" She shuffled over to me on her knees, raising her folded hands up to me. "Please, i always watch your gross out movies. Please?"

"Ughhh." I could never say no to her. I knew she had won once i connected with those eyes. "Fine."

She jumped up with a squeal, skipping over to the tv, putting the movie in. "The best movie of all time." She reassured grabbing the remote, making her way back to the couch.

She curled up close to me, i could smell her hair. Then as the opening sequence began, her body meshed with my side, her head lay at the base of my neck. She felt so warm, i loved this feeling. It was nothing like home. This was where my heart truly lies with Ellie Nash, not with my parents or with my past girlfriends. But not my heart in that one sense of love, but in more of a deep way. She was the only person i could feel completely comfortable around, and it seemed true that she was the only one who gave a damn about me. So in that sense, if not love, then i know my heart is here. And i think Ellie knows it too.

"Now that wasn't so bad now was it?" She mummbled out, while wiping at her teary eyes as the credits scrolled on the screen.

I couldn't help but crack a smile at her emotional reaction. She never cried. "No, it wasn't."

She gave me a light elbow nudge. "See i told you."

Again felt myself smiling and my arm still wrapped tight around her waist. I didn't want to let her go, but she wriggled away from me.

"Ellie?" I asked, as she began to clean up the pizza boxes. I wanted to let her know how much i appreciated her being there.

"Jay." She smiled to herself mimicing my serious tone, putting the cardboard box in the trash

"Need some help?" I guess i chickened out. Me and my wacked emotions.

"No, i got it." She walked back over to the couch, streching her arms out. "See all done."

My grin faded back.

"So, you are gonna sleep here tonight right?"

I felt a lump form in my throat. "Uh, yeah that would be great. Thanks El."

"No problem. Just let me get the bed ready."

The bed. She was going to give me the bed for the night. Or did she just expected me to sleep beside her. Either way, my throat began to grow dry. "Uh, i'll just crash on the couch."

"Don't be stupid. You and me both know that couch is the worst thing to happen to human spines." She came back from the room, grabbing hold of my hand. "Come on Jason."

I chuckled a bit from her constant reminder of my full name, and also a little from nerves.

"Alright get in." She patted the empty spot beside her. "I won't bite."

I pulled off my shirt, kicked off my shoes and slipped my black cap from my head leaving it on the nightstand. Laying onto the soft mattress i let my shoulders fall, i felt comfortable. Another thing that i could never find at home. Taking in one large breathe i turn to Ellie, but i see she is already fast asleep. She looks so peaceful, so beautiful. And "goodnight" is all i can mutter, before i fall into a deep slumber.


	4. Author's Note

Hello to all my dutiful readers. I would first like to thank you for taking the time to read what i have written, i appreciate it. But unfortunately i'm not sure when an update will be available. My father died a few weeks ago, and i'm not even in the frame of mind to even concetrate and read a story, let alone sit and write to any of my pending stories. I didn't even remember about FanFiction, but when i had checked my mail i had several notification emails. And i thought i should just post this note so you know it's not that i'm going to stop writting any of my stories, or that i just haven't wanted to write. I just hope you all understand, are patient with me and willing to check back in some time for any updates. I'm not promising anything in a small frame of time, but as soon as i feel i can concentrate i will try and have some updates out. Thank you for your time. And to all my beautiful reviewers, you really brighten my day thanks.

-Caitlyn


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